Positive thinking is a simple concept that is often misunderstood and misapplied. I make the distinction between positive thinking and positive feeling in the title to illustrate a subtle yet key element that you need to be aware of when you are trying to “think positively.”
A thought, by itself, is simply information. Thoughts by themselves are not powerful. The real power behind positive(and negative) thoughts are the emotions and feelings carried within them.
If you’ve just been cut off in traffic and feel the natural rush of anger it doesn’t matter how “positively” you try to think. Until you can take yourself away from the emotion of anger all of your actions will be directed from anger. You could be thinking in your mind “I am calm, I am nice” while simultaneously yelling profanities. Your actions are always in congruence with your emotions and feelings, not your thoughts.
Another example – the girl who is in an abusive relationship. Her thoughts tell her that this is not good for her and that she needs to get out. Yet she stays with her abuser. Why? Because she is driven by her emotions and feelings and not her thoughts.
Why think Positively?
If you’re like me you have attempted the whole positive thinking thing to reduce stress, improve your quality of life, be happier, and be more successful. Right?
But how has it worked for you? Has the universe showered you with riches and scantily clad women yet?
The first time I tried positive thinking I thought the whole idea was all a bunch of hippie feel-good bullshit. Positive thoughts in and of themselves are worthless. Simply telling yourself that “I am happy” when you feel depressed isn’t going to change a damn thing.
The magical component that makes positive thinking powerful is the emotional component.
Positive Feeling
Try an exercise with me. Take three deep breaths. Focus on the air coming into your nose, filling your belly, then slowly moving out of your nose again.
Then think back to one of the happiest memories you hold. Maybe it was the day you graduated college, or got married, or had your first child. Really see it in your minds eye. Hear the sounds, smell the smells, see the visuals. And most importantly of all feel the joy.
This positive state that you have just put yourself in is what self-help gurus really mean when they tell you to “think positive.” The more accurate term should be to call it “feel positive.” Because only when you can feel positive can you then make the changes in your life that you want. Like being happier, being more successful, and being more confident.
Positive Thinking Works, IF…
Positive thinking works only if you can combine the positive thoughts with positive emotions. With practice it becomes effortless to bring about any desired feeling-state within yourself.
Why Do You Need to Feel Positive?
The emotions of fear, anxiety, depression are not only unpleasant, but they hinder your success and growth in life. You cannot be creative when you are in a state of fear. Creative solutions to problems only materialize when you are in a positive and stress-free state.
When you are depressed your brain shuts off to the opportunities around you. Your world becomes akin to the tiny window on the Apollo shuttles and all you can see is a tiny piece of the world, which is surrounded by dark and empty bleakness. Think back to a time when you’ve been depressed. How boring and dull did life seem? Could you even conceive of things getting better? And now think about how you felt after you came out of that depression. Did you start noticing opportunities which had been present all along? Did new ideas and solutions to problems suddenly spring into mind?
If you want to achieve your highest potential in life then you need to live in a state of positive feeling.